Drowning in cliches
by sophisticatedharlot
Summary: John's father is a well-known baker and an all known owner of a religious catholic church, where Mr. Egbert is the priest and his son, John, is the organ player. John takes confessions and when he hears one confession, he doesn't know what to say. Things happen within the house of god, And john starts to find himself in the LGBT community.
1. Chapter one: Colourless colour

Chapter one: colourless colour

John's P.O.V

I'm not allowed to talk in front of people, that's not my job. Mostly because I stutter when im filled with anxiety. My job is to do more of the female type of things in the church, which I don't mind, but maybe help do labor too you know? My jobs are:

_Organ player._

_Sunday school teacher._

_Goodie giver, i.e giving away the baked goods that my father has made._

_Light the votive candles._

_And most importantly, take confessions when my father can't._

Church is about to end and I am playing one of the psalms listed on the board. I smile and watch my fingers dance around on the keys, hitting each one as I played each and every psalm over and over in my mind and on every instrument imaginable. I hit the last note and everyone claps, then my father hushs them with his hands and smiles.

"We gather here today to rejoice in our great lord Jesus Christ. Christmas is around the corner and we all hope you celebrate it with your loved ones, have a great Sunday, bless and be blessed."

Everyone stands up and heads to the back to get their free small cakes that father has made, it's one of his favorite Christmas specialties. I stand and stretch, standing on my tip toes and reaching for the ceiling. Sometimes I wish I could jump and touch the ceiling, but that's just silly, right?

I hop off the stairs and my father looks at me, smiling.

"Don't do that John, you'll hurt yourself."

I nod, "Sorry father."

I could see the bags under his eyes, he hasn't been getting much sleep with all the bugging from the networks and news.

_A baker and a priest? A must have story!_

I go over to him and place my hand on his shoulder, "Why don't you rest for a bit? I'll go take confessions."

"What about Sunday school?"

"I'll get Jade to do it, you know how she loves the kids, maybe she can find Rose too."

He smiles, he is very tired and I am worried for him.

"Oh, alright, I'll be in my study if you need me."

"You mean your man cave?"

He chuckles and ruffles my neatly combed hair, I stick my tongue out at him, I feel like a kid again as he leaves to go to his den.

My name is John Egbert and I am eighteen years old. I live with my father and I think I am asexual for the time being. I'm not really in the mood for looking for a relationship, or just it hasn't stricken me. I'm waiting for that right girl to take her hand in marriage and have little kids with, grow old and have our ashes spread over the ocean of an island of Hawaii.

Something like that.

I go find Jade who is enjoying the cake with Rose, "Hey you guys!"

They both turn, Jade is in a nice green and black dress with a green little jacket and black tights. Rose is in a lavender skirt and a white old Victorian blouse with white knee highs.

"Hello," rose says.

"Hi!" Jade says.

"Listen, I need you two to take over Sunday school for me while I go do confessions, my father is really tired and is taking a nap in his den."

"Oh, sure thing John!" Jade says.

Rose nods and I smile my normal toothy grin. I start to go to the confession room and see theres a whole line of people waiting to get their confessions taken, there always is.

I sit on the other side of the closing sliding door with a floral pattern and take in a deep breath. I hear peoples inner most thoughts and regrets and give them advice, I'm not so good, but my father is the best and has taught me everything I know.

"You may come in one at a time," I say loud enough for the first person to hear me.

The first person comes in and tells me that he wanted to run over his neighbors dog because it barks way too much.

"It doesn't know what's its doing, you should give it a second chance. Running over peoples dogs is not a pleasant thing to do, its animal cruelty and a sin. Consider it next time you think that way alright?"

A woman comes in crying because she can't have children and doesn't want to adopt.

I ask her if she likes pets.

She says yes.

"Maybe a cat? Cats have their own personality you know, but you have to look really hard to find that right one, I also hear that sometimes the cat picks you. If not try a dog, I'm sure you'll love them like you'll love a child."

A man comes in wanting to shoot himself.

I start to sob, he asks why I am crying.

"Suicide isn't the way to get anywhere in life, you have to keep living. Think of everyone around you and how they love you! Think about how they will miss you when you're gone, it might be a sin and you will go to hell. But it's your life, you have to be happy, please, don't take your own life. Think of positive things."

He thanks me and says he will think of positive things, he says I have made a difference in his life.

This goes on for an hour and most of the people are gone, I start to gather my stuff when the door opens.

"Hello?" a male voice asks.

"Hi, are you here for a confession?"

"Yes, yes I am."

I sit down, smiling even though most people cant see it, "Please sit, I'll take it."

"Thank you."

He sits and he's about my age, he's blonde and is wearing aviator shades, I find it kinda rude.

"What is your confession?" I ask politely.

He is quiet, then sighs, "I'm just going to come out and say it okay?"

"Alright, this is in all confinement."

"I like guys, and im a guy."

My eyes are wide and I want to leave.

"I like dick, cock, penis, whatever you wanna call it."

My breathing just hitched.

"And there's this guy, I know him, he doesn't know me. I'm such a fucking idiot you know? Liking him from afar, masturbating to him, he's so innocent and pure, I know he's a virgin. I'm so disgusting."

I look away, I don't know what to say.

"I want to touch him and tell him how much I like him, but I can't. He's um, in another country or something."

He wipes his eyes under his shades and I look at him, feeling a bit bad for the homosexual.

"Father I have sinned so many times and I am not worthy for the heart of an angel."


	2. Chapter two: The listening

_**A/N I am not catholic or Christian, I am wiccan yo. But basically for a bit of background as to why John is **__Not a homosexual__**, heres a fanfic dedicated to that. There you go.**_

_**Chapter two yo, enjoy.**_

_**Some nsfw warning!**_

Chapter two: The listening

John's P.O.V

_To seek, to know, to share the grace of god. The love of Jesus Christ and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit._

These are how things happen in the church during Christmas time. Most people only think about Santa, or presents, only getting and not receiving. They don't think about the family and friends and how we are rejoicing in the birth of Christ.

This is what my father teaches during this week's service. I smile as I get dressed in the blue and purple uniform for the Choir. I sometimes help with the elders when someone is sick and I get Jade to play the organ for me. I'm really glad that I have two good friends who will go to church with me even though they are not really religious.

My father says to bow their heads and say a prayer for those around us that we would like to wish our thanks to.

This is the Choir's Queue to start walking down the aisle, we walk in twos usually bowing our heads. But I bend the rules this time to look for a face, and I see it.

The blonde with the aviator shades.

He is bowing his head and mouthing a prayer. I want to tell my father that we have a _homosexual_ coming to the church but all confessions are in confinement. And I would be breaking the rules.

I see him look up and look at me, I jerk my head straight forward and clear my throat. The Choir stands in the platform with the poinsettia's all around and father says to start to sing _Mary's little baby boy_.

_Long time ago in Bethlehem  
So the holy Bible say  
Mary's Boy child, Jesus Christ  
Was Born on Christmas day_

Hark now hear _the Angels sing__  
A king was born to day  
And Man will live for evermore  
Because of Christmas day  
Mary's Boy child, Jesus Christ  
Was Born on Christmas day~_

Two hours into the service it was time for the closing paryer, we bow our heads and say the payer.

_Hear our prayer O' lord, hear our paryer O' lord, incline thine ear to us and grant us thy peace. Amen._

I pick up my head and smile around at everyone, Service is over and now its time for goodies. I head over to the back where everyone is socializing and grab a piece of evenly cut cake. I take my fork and take a bite out of it, its rich and yummy, I lick my lips and open my eyes only to see, _him_.

I almost choke on my Cake and my breathing is hitched, what does he want?

The other male stands taller than me, way taller. He's built to a good physical standard and is fair skinned with blonde hair. He's wearing a black blazer, a red silk button down, and black fitted jeans with red Vans, and not to mention his aviator shades.

_Not proper attire._

"Hello," he clears his throat, "so you're the pastors son huh?"

I nod.

"You do a lot around here huh?"

I nod.

He chuckles, "not much of a talker huh?"

I nod.

He shifts all of his weight to one foot, and looks up, then looks down at me, "I'm new here, I'm Dave Strider."

I swallow my fear to talking to this, _homosexual_, and nervously put out my hand for him to shake, "I'm J-John Egbert, it's nice to meet y-you, how long have you been coming?"

Stupid anxiety.

He shook my hand, a strong grip, "Well I just moved to Washington not too long ago, and I'm trying to get into the flow of god or whatever. I need something in my life that will help me guide through all the fuck- oh, um, _stupid_ mistakes I've made in the past."

I'm not really liking his look, but I guess don't judge a book by its cover, no?

I smile, "Well I'm gl-gad you have chosen to try the catholic religion first."

Dave shrugs, "It's hard to explain, but I was always interested in catholic."

"That's seems like a-a legitimate reason."

I hear Jade call my name and I turn to see her smiling at me, "Do you want me to go do Sunday school while you do confessions again?"

"Is father tired and in his den?" I ask.

She nods.

"Alright," I turn to Dave and smile, "I have to go do confessions, please go confess if there is anything on your m-mind."

I thank him for taking his time for talking to me and go change out of the Choir garments and go into the confession room. I say to come in one at a time and its mostly elders with their sins, saying how might they be forgiven.

I'm just good at this I guess, I'm not stuttering and I like to help people. But then I see a familiar blazer and shades that sit down. He is quiet, and I ask him, "What is your confession my son?"

I hear him clear his throat, and take in a deep breath.

"I want to do something bad, my feelings want it, I don't."

"What is it?"

"I want to hurt the one I love, to penetrate him by force."

"Why?"

"Because he will never love a sinner like me."

_Rape?_

"My son, if he loves you then you should, um, do it in consensual times."

"He doesn't know about me though, I want him so badly. I want to touch him and feel his pure virgin skin under my tainted, toxic one."

I am quiet.

"He's so adorable, but, I can't have him. A forbidden love full of fighting with angels and demons within me. I can't help it." He is panting, "I want him father, I feel disgusting, I feel horrible, terrible. I just want to disappear."

I need to say something.

_Homosexuality is a sin._

"My son, do what you must, but in all retrospect.. I do not approve of this."

Dave looked at the floral patterned door and nodded, "Thank you father."

"You are welcome," Dave leaves and I slump down into the chair, did I just condone homosexual rape?

I run my fingers through my hair and wait another few minutes to see if anyone else needed confession. Apparently not.

Sunday school is over and Jade says that she is leaving and hands me a note.

_John, I had to leave to go pick up some groceries, I'll be back in an hour. Just hang out in the church and I'll call you when I'm close alright? Love, dad._

"Do you want me to hang out with you?" Jade asks.

"No its quite alright, I'm fine by myself, everyone's gone home."

Jade nods and hugs me, kissing my cheek and leaving. I am now here all alone in this big church and I smile, and start to go to the church office to go file away some things. I sit at the swivel chair and run my fingers through file clips, looking at all the deceased personnel. Oh how I missed them so, they we're all kind and-

_SLAM_.

I jump and get up, _is someone here?_

I go out of the office, and look at the front door, then go over. Silly, it wasn't locked. I lock it and head back to the office.

I can't see.

There's something over my eyes and my glasses are knocked to the floor. I start to freak out and a hand covers my mouth.

"Don't scream, please," the male voice says.

I nod and I am taken to someplace where the male makes me stand straight up and tells me to pretend like im looking forward. I do what I'm told and I feel warm lips on mine. I tense up and push away.

"What the heck?!"

The male grabs me by my shoulders and kisses me harshly, forcing his tongue down my throat. I can't breathe and when he pulls away I gasp for breath. He postions me so my hands are on a desk and im not facing him. My knees are trembling and my teeth are chattering.

"Please, stop."

He doesn't say anything, only pulling out my neatly tucked in shirt and pushing it up, feeling my sides up and down. My knees buckle and I lose my balance. He holds me up by my hips and grips them, bringing his lips to my ear and licking the rim. I shiver, I'm freaking out.

He pulls down my pants and boxers exposing my butt and I cross my legs, he spreads my cheeks and pushes a finger inside. I yelp and hang my head low, clearing my throat. He added another finger, scissoring my hole. My knees were shaking and my heart was beating in my ears.

Then I felt his penis rub up against my butt. I sob and clasp my hands together, "Father God, in the name of Jesus Christ I pray for a hedge of protection around me, I pray that no one find me in this position for I am being punished."

"Wh..What are you doing?"

"I pray that Jade and Rose are fine and I pray that I will have the courage to take this pain."

"St-Stop."

"I bind this demon spirit of fear and worry away from me by the blood of Jesus... Father, please forgive me for where I fail you. In Jesus' name, Amen."

I sob and place my head on the desk, ready to take the pain. I feel the head of the penis against my hole, but then it pulls away, so does the hands. I hear a crash to the floor and sobbing.

I crash to the floor and curl up into a ball, taking off the blindfold only to see _him_, Dave Strider.


	3. Chapter three: This happened all so fast

Chapter three: This happened all so fast

John's P.O.V

I look at the figure backing up from me, he is sobbing and shaking his head, losing his calm and cool collect figure from when I first saw him.

"I should have known it was you from when y-you were touching me!" I scream.

"Father I am sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen, it was my feelings. I told you in confession that I didn't want this, I cannot help myself!"

I sob, shutting my eyes and wrapping my arms around myself, "I am not a father! I am the son of a catholic priest! God will never forgive you!"

Dave inhales deeply and knots his hand into his hair, "Am I going to hell?"

"Yes!" I scream, "I feel so violated and exposed! How _dare_ you touch me in such a way you freaking homosexual!"

I could hear Dave start to crawl over to me and I open my eyes, I sit up and back up as far as I could into the desk, "Ge-Get away from me, I-I'll scream, I-I will!"

Dave sits in front of me and motions to my appearance, "I'm sorry, I'll help you look decent if you want."

I turn my head away, "I don't want your hands anywhere on me."

"Please, I said I was sorry."

I turned to him with much anger on my face, "How would you like it if someone blindfolded you and began to feel you up, especially a guy when you know you're a straight Catholic male? Then press their penis to you, invade your vital regions with their fingers and ready to take your virginity?"

Dave looks down into his lap, "I wouldn't like it."

"E-Exactly."

I start to fix myself, except my hands are shaking and trembling so badly I can't hold the fabric too well. I see Dave's hands on my pants and I freak out, but I see he's helping me pull up my pants. My breathing is hitched, then I let out a few pants through my nose. I try and stand but am failing at it, I feel Dave's arms around me helping me up and I look away.

"Please John, let me help."

I'm basically hyperventilating in this guy's arms, and he's the reason why too. I don't say anything and I squeak when Dave sets me on the desk, tucking my shirt in. I look away, I feel like I'm some girls dolly play thing.

Dave cracks an awkward smile "Um, there."

I look down and I look basically like I did before Dave had even touched me, my eyes water up and I hang my head down and cover my face in my hands.

"..John, you have no idea how sorry I am."

"I knew you were trouble when you first came to confession," I sobbed.

"I'm a terrible person, I'm so fucked up you have no idea, all these feelings for you? I don't know what to do with them."

"Homosexuality is a sin Dave, and Rape is an even bigger sin, I don't k-know how many Mordal sins you have just committed but it's a lot!"

Dave just looks away, "How many Hail Marys?"

"Probably two thousand or more, I can't freaking b-believe you," I hiss.

Dave gets on his knees right before me, clasping his hands together, "John?"

"Yes?"

"Please don't tell your father about this, please don't tell anybody, I just wanted to get to know you better. I really like you."

I am quiet, Dave peeks up from his sunglasses, "John?"

"Alright, this is in confinement, but consider that I do not like you now."

"Okay."

Dave starts to mumble one prayer after another and I take my Rosary from my neck and get in front of Dave, wrapping it around my hands and Dave's.

"What are you doing?"

"Praying."

"Why?"

"I'm having bad thoughts."

"Okay."

We sit there for a good thirty minutes and pray silently, I open my eyes and I finally feel cleansed. I look at Dave who is really tuned into praying. _He must be really sorry for what he did_, I thought.

I stand up and now I'm not shaking, "Dave."

Dave looks up, "Yes John?"

"You can finish your praying later, do you have rosary beads?"

"Yes, they are at my house."

"Alright."

I start to walk out the place where we are, it's just another office. Dave follows me and asks where we are going, I say I am thirsty and I need something to drink, I avert my eyes to the side, I guess it's only polite, "Do you want something?"

"Oh, um, water is fine."

I head to the pantry way back in this one area and grab two waters, I toss one to Dave and he catches it, opening it and thanking me.

"No problem," I take my first sip of the water and hear my phone go off, I check it and it's my father.

"Hello?"

"I'll be outside in three minutes okay?"

"Alrighty dad."

I hang up and take Dave's hand, pulling him to the front. I unlock the doors, then go outside, locking them again. "This never happened okay? All in confinement."

Dave smiled, nodding, then suddenly wrapping his arms around me, hugging me. "Thank you Father."

"I-I told you I'm not a father!" I squeak trying to push away from him.

"You'll make a great priest one day," he chuckles.

I stop struggling and wrap my arms around his shoulders, this surprises Dave and he embraces me tighter. I close my eyes and let the stronger male embrace me, for a moment, I think,_ this is actually quite nice, I never get hugs like this_.

I hear a car pull up and I shove Dave away, I see how hurt he is and I look away, "all in confinement, I'll see you next mass?"

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

I walk down the steps and shove my hands in my coats pockets, my water bottle in one of my coat pockets, I feel something crumply and take it out, it's a piece of paper with numbers on it, Dave's number.

_Ugh, creeper._


	4. Chapter four: Crave you

Chapter four: Crave you

Dave's P.O.V

So I guess it's legit then right? Going to hell for trying to rape a priest's son? I run my hands through my hand and watch John leave, I smile as he takes out the paper and turns to look at me with this kinda face like, _really?_

I nod, hoping John wouldn't just throw it away. I did say I wanted to get to know him better, maybe raping him wasn't the best choice. But, well, god damn I just want to be inside him. I blush just thinking about him underneath me, pure, virgin, innocent.

I'm not worthy for him. But I love him.

How?

I walk down the steps of the church and to my 1969 red and white mustang, I unlock the door and get in, placing my head on the wheel.

It's stupid really, I was in a fight with some guy over money in front of a bar which of course I couldn't get in. but he thought I looked like his friend and I told him to step off before he was going to get his ass kicked, we were in the heat of the moment when all you hear is, _"May the grace of god guide you through this journey, and hopefully no one gets hurt."_ I turn and see this, this angel.

He has rosary beads around his hands and is praying for us.

I suddenly don't want this boys eyes to see a violent fight so I take all the money I have and shove it to the drunk, yelling at him that I'm not the person he thinks I am. Then I go over to the boy.

He's short, way short. He has pitch black hair, ivory skin, square glasses, blue eyes and a cute little over bite. He's dressed like a school boy and I'm wondering, what is a cutie like him doing out here so late?

He looks up at me and smiles, I look down at him scanning his face and realize that he's Catholic and will never be interested in me. So the only thing I think to ask him is, "What church do you go to?"

He tells me, hugs me and leaves to go into a food mart.

Right then and there? I decide that I have feelings for this little angel. It's wrong, and I have never been interested in a male before so I really wouldn't know how it would feel. But now? _And a Catholic guy?_

Why am I being punished?

I start up my car and take a joy ride, driving nowhere in particular. I drive to Wal-Mart and go through the five dollar movie bin, I find three movies. Brave, The Aristocrats, and The Lion king. I buy all three and go back to joy riding, mostly thinking and driving which is dangerous as hell, well I guess that's okay since that's where I'm going to end up.

I finally decide to go home which from in Texas a big apartment on the top floor to a small two bedroom apartment on the bottom floor in this little community? Kinda a drastic change. I pull into the empty spot next to Bro's car and get out locking my baby.

I go through the front patio and try the front door, its open, ugh, Bro needs to learn to lock the doors. I open the door and go inside dropping my keys in the bowl and going to the kitchen to grab something to eat.

"So, how'd seeing your little religious crush go?" Bro asks from behind me.

I blush as I grab a vitamin water and stand up straight, "Let's just say I'm basically going to hell."

"Did he say that?"

"Yes, and that God will never forgive me."

"Wow, what'd you do, touch the kid?"

I am silent and don't move.

"Oh, well.." for once Bro doesn't know what to say.

"It's alright, he says it's all in confinement and all I have to do is pray."

"You're going way fucking overboard for some Catholic guy who will never love you back."

I turn and glare at him, "You don't know how I feel, so don't butt in."

I walk past him and go into my room and close the door, locking it. Sometimes I wish I was in college or had a job, but right now my focus is John, John Egbert. That's all I can think about. I can't get him out of my mind and I'm such a sick person. Looking up pictures of him on the internet because his father is famous and masturbating to his face. Sometimes even getting my cum on the computer screen where is face is.

I cover my face in my hands, taking in a deep breath.

My hands began to clasp together, and I began praying.

"Father God, take it that I'm not a true Catholic okay? I'm just doing this to get close to the one I love who will never love me, but I kinda feel better confessing my sins to you, you know? I've done something horrible today and I hope you forgive me, my chest feels so tight and all these feelings feel wrong but right you know?"

I clasp my hands tighter.

"It is true that I have been always interested in catholic but have never perused it. John, John will never love me like I love him. But maybe, maybe should I get to know him first? Would that be a good, better, solution? Homosexuality might be a sin, but, are my feelings a sin too? Am I a sin?"

I take in a shaky breath. "In Jesus' name, Amen."

I take off my shades and wipe my eyes, laying back in my bed, I felt depressed. I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to go back church, I go ever Saturday and Sunday, only to see John. I love watching him smile, greeting people, he seem's so happy.

I close my eyes, _am I tired?_

_Bzzzt_

_Bzzt_

_Bzzt_

I feel my back pocket vibrating and take it out, seeing a number from this area code and answer it.

"Hello, this is Dave's phone right?" says the male voice.

"Yes," my eyes lit up and I sit up, "Is this John?"

"Yes."

"Hi John, I didn't think you would ever call."

"Oh," he chuckles, "Well I did didn't I?"

I smile, "Yeah."

"I just want to remind you that what we did is in all confinement, between you and me okay?"

I nod, but then he can't see it, "Yes I know."

"By the way, you knocked my glasses off, um, during that time and when we went back to the church they were broken."

"Oh my god I'm so sorry."

"Um, its okay. I'm at the eye glass shop right now getting a new pair."

"Oh okay."

"So, um, what were you doing b-before I called?" he asked with a stutter.

I blushed, I always found that stutter so adorable, "Praying."

"Oh, okay, well I'm glad."

"John?"

"Yes?"

"I want you to know how sorry I am."

"I know, even though its kinda not okay, I'm okay with it, I forgive you."

"You do?"

"Yes, I thought about it and you cannot contain your homosexual feelings for me, but that doesn't mean that we cannot be friends, right?"

"..Right, John, you have impacted me and my life so much and I want to thank you."

"Really? Well, thank you," I can imagine him blushing.

"Yes, do you want to hang out sometime?" I ask hoping he will say yes.

"Um, I have catechism after church, so after the eye glass appointment I have to go back to the church so my father can teach me."

"What are you, like sixteen?"

"No, eighteen."

I blush, "Oh alright."

"We'll plan something on the weekday okay? I'll call you."

"John?"

"Yes?"

"May I call you just for the sake of calling you? And confessing my sins?"

"Of course, now I must go we are being called."

"Okay, have a nice day."

"You too, goodbye."

The line goes dead and I hold my phone to my chest after saving the number. I lay back down in my bed and stare up at my ceiling, I decide that I will get to know John better and just like him in secret. Forcing him to like me is not the right thing to do, it's a sin and..

I turn on my side, curling up into a ball, "I love you John, I'm so sorry."


	5. Chapter five: Cliff hanger

Chapter five: Cliff hanger

Dave's P.O.V

_A light came to his own people, and his own people didn't welcome him : -John 1:11_

It has been four days since I have called John, I can't actually call him because I don't want to hear his voice and loose it. But I have been confessing my sins to him over text and talking to him, he asks why don't I call him and I say something like, _I don't want to worry you with my troubles_.

He is the _nicest_, and most _accepting_ person I have ever met. Though he doesn't really like the fact that I am a _homosexual_, he still keeps talking to me. Maybe he only feels sorry for me, I'll take that any day because he's _talking_ to me.

But today is Thursday and John texts me at one in the afternoon when I'm eating lunch with my Bro, the text says, _Hey Dave, would you want to hang out today? I am free and we can do something if you would like?_

I stop eating and this gets Bro's attention, he peers over and chuckles, "Yeah your free, your always free. Say yes."

I blush and text him, _Sure, where?_

_Your house maybe? My dad wants to meet you._

My heat drops and I think_, what has he told his father about me?_ I start to shake and this worries Bro, he takes my phone and I don't argue. He reads the text and rolls his eyes from behind his shades.

"He hasn't told him anything negative Dave, stop being pessimistic."

I take in a deep breath and hope to God that Bro is right, _Sure, I'll think of some things to do okay?_

_Sure! Should I come over in like a half an hour?_

_Yeah, that's fine, should I dress nicely?_

_This isn't church Dave, you can be yourself! Just don't be in rags or anything, just like a t-shirt or something okay?_

_Okay, I'll send you my address_

_Alright! I'll see you in thirty minutes :B_

I text him the address, and I smile softly and see that I am still in my pajamas, I drop my sandwich and rush to my room.

_Mother of fuck._

It's messy as _hell_, and I groan. I rush over to my dresser and put on a long sleeved red shirt with white stripes, a new pair of boxers, black jeans, and red socks. I then rush to clean my room, putting things where they need to go and throwing away wrappers and what not. Twenty five minutes go by and I go find Bro who is in only his boxers.

I poke his chest and look up at him, "Don't mess this up for me," I growl.

"I'll him what you do to your computer screen in the middle of the night,_ looking up pictures of a priests son and ejaculating to them is a sin Dave_," he chuckles.

I hit his arm hard and he only chuckles, "Alright I won't tell, but I'm not changing out of this."

"Then don't come out," I growl.

"It's my fucking house I do what I want," he says flicking my nose.

I bark at him to stop and he hugs me petting me like a cat, "Oh my younger brother is going through a stage of life where he ejaculates to computer screens, what have I taught him in all my years of parenting?"

"UGH, stop it!" I cry prying myself out of his arms, I push him into his room and go out of the apartment and wait outside in the parking lot, which isn't that big. I wait a few minutes and see a white Lincoln pull up with John in it with Mr. Egbert.

John comes to me and smiles, he is wearing beige shorts, white knee highs and a light blue button down with a blue and white rosary around his neck. Mr. Egbert is more classy and is basically in a tux. He comes over to me and shakes my hand.

"So, you are the guy my son is raving about?"

I let out a nervous laughter, "I guess, what has he been telling you?"

I eye john through my shades and hope to God all mighty that he hasn't said anything bad or offensive.

"He says you really want to learn about the Catholic religion and are really interested in it. You go to confession and confess your sins, and you want to befriend my son. I am glad he is a good influence on you."

I chuckle and rub my neck, "Yeah that's the whole story sir."

He nods and pats John's back, "I'll come by and pick you up at six thirty alright?"

John nods and hugs his father, Mr. Egbert gets in the car and waves to us, leaving. I smile at John and he gives me a quick smile before I take him inside my house. When we get inside Bro is positioned himself on the frame in a _sexy_ pose.

I tell John to cover his eyes and John says he will be glad to, I go over and shove Bro into his room where he just snickers. I tell him to stay in there or I'm not going to set up the Christmas tree this year, and Bro hates setting up the Christmas tree.

I go over to John who is still covering his eyes, I look at him and smile softly. _He is so cute and innocent and I just want to hug him, I just want to tell him how much I adore him and-_

"Is it safe to open my eyes now?" he asks.

"Oh, yeah, it's safe."

He uncovers his eyes, "Was that your brother?" he asks.

"Unfortunately, yes. C'mon lets go to my room," I say.

John nods and I lead him to my room, closing the door half way because I don't want him to feel too uncomfortable. He sits on my bed and smiles, "Nice room."

I rub my neck, "Thanks."

"What's wrong?"

"I just.." I sit next to him, hanging my head down lowly, "I don't know how you can forgive me for doing that to you."

John places his hand on my shoulder and I shrug it off, he tries again and I don't shrug this time.

"I can forgive you because I am made to do that, I am just nice like that. Have you been praying?"

I nod, looking away. He hugs me, and I am taken by surprise, "I am very glad!"

A light dusting of pink go on my cheeks and my heart starts to beat faster by the second.

John lets go, "I wanted to hang out with you because I wanted to get to know you better. How your mind works and what it is like liking another male. Um, we can watch movies and talk, or we can just talk face to face. Whatever you wanna do!"

I bite my lower lip, "Um, face to face."

John nods and we position ourselves on the bed so we are facing each other. John starts asking me a series of questions and I tell him everything that I can.

"What's it like liking another male?"

I shrug, "It's just like liking a girl, but it's a guy."

"How does it feel?"

"Odd."

"..Why do you like me?"

I blush and this is the time to tell him about my feelings, I do it unconsciously, I really do. I do it while not thinking about it. I get on my knees and start to crawl over to John, telling him about the incident in front of the bar that one night long ago. I touch his knee and he is frozen.

I want to kiss him, but I don't want to invade his privacy, it would be wrong.

"I do like you John, but you will never like me you know? So I guess friends will do just fine."

My hand shakes when I take it off of John's knee and I smile at him, who he smiles back. We sit there and talk about stuff, God, likes and dislikes, school, and I learn a lot about John. But I want to get to know him better.

We are sitting watching a movie on Netflix and I ask him if he wants to go see a movie in the theaters. He asks which one and I say _Les Misérables. _He gasps and squeals like a giddy school girl, "Oh my gosh I really really want to go see that movie!"

I smile, "So is that a yes?"

He nods and gets out his phone, starting to text someone, "What are you doing?" I ask.

"Asking my dad for money for the theater."

I take away his phone and he looks at me strangely, "I will pay for your admission, don't worry man."

I can see John blushing a light pink from awe and he nods, smiling with a toothy grin. I smile right back at him and we get up heading for the door. I grab my keys and yell to Bro that we are leaving. He yells back, _you kids have fun, but not too much fun that you bring home grandchildren ya here!_

I clench my teeth and huff out a pant through my nose. John tells me to ignore whatever _that_ means and we leave to get into the car.

John is talking about God and I chuckle, this gets his attention, "What is funny Dave?"

"Oh, you are just really religious you know? You like God, like, a lot."

John nods and giggles.

_God kill me now._

"Yes, because he saved me and my father."

"How?" red light, "How did he save you both?"

"When my mother left for another man, my father was going through a rough time. Then we found out that she died in a car crash later and attended her funeral. At her funeral I ran out in traffic because I saw her sprit, this was when I was four, and My father saved me by picking me up and running in front of the car."

I nod, "He's a saint."

John giggles, "Yes, God showed us the light and from here on out I am devoted to God," Green light.

"I am glad," right turn into the movie plaza.

We park and get out, basically no one is here on a week day so we have the who place to ourselves. We get in line and buy our tickets, the prices re outrageous, but it's a day on the town with John and it's totally fine blowing all my money on him. Even if it's not a date.


End file.
